Wednesday, November 18, 2009

How a Puppy is Like a Toddler

Having spent two and a half weeks with Tally - and many many weeks' worth of time with toddlers - I've developed a strong theory that puppies and toddlers are eerily similar. The evidence:

1. They both have no concept of the word "no." We tell Tally this a zillion times a day (I even cop a deeply menacing man voice to add gravitas to my no's), and yet it has absolutely no impact. Ever seen a mom with a toddler at the supermarket? It's a broken record of no's and yet said toddler continues to try and throw herself out of the cart/grab random breakable items off shelves/run in the opposite direction.

2. However, a toddler and puppy's favorite word is "no." In a conversation with HistoryGirlie last week, her daughter Kitty said no to Elmo, bananas, chicken nuggets, fruit, cookies, play, sleep, diaper, and flugglehorn. Tally's "no" isn't as clearly spoken, but the sentiment is understood by all.

3. Both enjoy putting things they shouldn't in their mouths. I suppose most toddlers are getting past this stage, but I think the concept holds. Hand Tally a tennis ball, rope toy, or even a treat - no interest. Leave a sheet of paper, bathroom rug, phone cord, or coffee table on the ground, and she's suddenly very interested.

4. Puppies and toddlers thwart all productivity. It now takes me 20 minutes to unload the dishwasher because I have to stop every six seconds and see what Tally's chewing on, or why she's wandered out of the kitchen and is she peeing somewhere... Crafting is a joke - she only wants to sit on my lap and eat the paper. Leave a toddler or a puppy alone for one second and they'll manage to stick their fingers/paw in an outlet or worse; it's nearly impossible to complete even the simplest of tasks... unless you can manage to get them to take a nap :)

5. Both are super cute and snuggly. And this is how toddlers survive their terrible twos and dogs survive puppyhood - even when they're chewing on your favorite shoes or taking off all of their clothes and dancing on the glass coffee table (yup, definitely a true story), they're so adorable and lovable, you can't help but smile at them. Once Tally finally crashes for the night and curls up on my lap, all of the day's headaches and frustrations are forgiven.

Moms or dog-owners - did I forget anything?


ebs handler November 19, 2009 at 4:11 AM  

The list is great. It reminded me of a toddler I once knew who stripped off pajamas and diaper during the night, and would be jumping on the queen sized toddler bed, ala natural, when I came into the room. What goes around comes around!

Tara November 19, 2009 at 5:27 AM  

You need a play pen for Tally! My friends with toddlers say they are great:) Play pen=more craft time uninterrupted!:)

NatalieW November 19, 2009 at 9:01 AM  

Ha ha! I think your list is completely accurate! When I've told people who don't have dogs that puppies are like kids, all I've gotten is this look like I'm a crazy person.

Michelle November 19, 2009 at 12:35 PM  

I have three kids and completely agree with your list. I think I would add that both puppies and kids tune out your voice the minute they hear it.

historygirlie November 19, 2009 at 3:51 PM  

Don't forget...

*both puppies and toddlers like to run away from you.

*both puppies and toddlers like to eat Grass. (at least Bingo and Kitty do/did)

*both puppies and toddlers will go potty wherever they are, diaper or not OR pee mat or not.

*both puppies and toddlers think time outs are a huge jokey fun time.

*Both puppies and toddlers are SO EXCITED to see you come through the door, even if you just hopped into the garage to throw something into the big outside garbage. :)

So, are you having fun yet? Want to trade an adorable puppy for an adorable two year old? Just for a night?

NavyGirl November 19, 2009 at 11:12 PM  

You bet HG - just let me know when and where to make the drop. I'll trade you Tally and her stinky puppy breath for a few days with Kitty and her Elmo videos :)

Anonymous,  November 20, 2009 at 4:14 PM  

I'd love to get in on this swap as are you with incessant whining and never-ending episodes of the Wonder Pets???? Today our fabulous friends saved a baby racoon stuck in a recycling bin and when the Flyboat broke down, they made a Recycle Boat to save the day.

I feel myself getting dumber by the minute... : )


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