Friday, November 20, 2009

If you can swing it...

...do your Thanksgiving grocery shopping at 9:30pm on a Thursday night. It was positively glorious. The Safeway was nearly empty. A few burly men stocking cranberry juice and malt-o-meal. Some twenty-three year olds buying ice cream and beer.

(Clearly not my actual cart... bananas, oranges, and no Oreos? Or Cheerios? Or anything ending in "o's"?... why bother going to the store!?!)

I didn't have to wait in line. I didn't have to battle anyone for the last can of Libby's pumpkin pie mix. I didn't have to stop myself from strangling the senior citizen who parked her cart in the middle of the aisle while she emptied her purse looking for some 10 cents off coupon (or a butterscotch candy). No screaming children, no loud cell-phone talkers, no congestion in the parking lot, no congestion around the sweet potato stand.

Downright blissful.

Now if only Target were open 24 hours and I could get all my Christmas shopping done this way, we'd be golden.

5 comments:

historygirlie November 21, 2009 at 6:45 AM  

Oh, come on, you know you're just WAITING to take that screaming toddler to the grocery. Who doesn't want to have to pry every jar, bag, container, box of whatever that's located on shelves 2 feet off the floor because that extra special toddler doesn't WANT to ride in the cart? Or have to deal with a drooling toddler who's grinning at you through the hugmongous chocolate chip cookie that the thoughtful bakery lady wanted to treat her to, and now you both are covered with chocolate streaked drool??

God, I want to go grocery shopping by myself again someday soon. :) TWP, can you agree with me on this?

Anonymous,  November 21, 2009 at 8:18 AM  

HG, I'm with you. Don't be fooled by those tiny toddler hands...they're capable of a super-human death grip on any and every thing within their site.

FG's personal specialty is using her chubby arm as a wrecking ball and knocking out entire displays with one big swoop. And by the time I sheepishly restack one mess, she's destroyed 2 more carefully laid out displays.

Next time you're in the store and you here a giant crash, it's probably her.

TWP

Anonymous,  November 21, 2009 at 8:21 AM  

HG...I also second the drool factor. There were a few beautiful months in between baby projectile vomit and toddler non-stop drool that FG and I both wore the elusive CLEAN SHIRT. I'm now back to using my clothing as an industrial mop and Lord only knows when I'll ever look halfway put together again.

But hey, I wouldn't trade my little tornado for the world : )

TWP

ebs handler November 22, 2009 at 4:03 AM  

My favorite grocery trips came after baby #2 and I got to push one cart with children in it, and pull a second one for the food. (Under no circumstances, should you put toddler and food in the same cart! Use your imagination!)

historygirlie November 22, 2009 at 3:01 PM  

Yes, MamaMugs, toddlers and the grocery cart is just a huge mess. I spend most of my time at the store putting things back into my cart that Kitty takkes out of the back and hurls onto the floor. I get up from bending over (which is so attractive in the first place) to see her chewing on the fluffy end of the bread bag. SO SAFE. So, now we have chocolatey drool all over her, her winter coat, my shirt, and NOW, the bread bag, which therefore contaminates everything in the back of the cart when I just toss the mangled bread into the back.

I don't know how many things I've scanned for the checkout lady because I was embarassed to have her touch the super moist items that Kitty had the chance to chew on before I snatched it away. Glorious.

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