Sunday, February 21, 2010

Starbucks Shenanigans

I warned you that the blogging would be light while we're home in Wisconsin... and I'm nothing if not good on my word. Today is our last full day in the cheese state, so hopefully this week, things will be back to normal around here, with lots of my postings and rantings.

To finish up our air travel here, I promised a Starbucks story. We all know I've become a bit of a coffee snob. I like my tall, non-fat, no whip mocha from Starbucks, and other mochas just don't cut it. They don't have the same dark chocolate flavor that I've come to crave, and frankly, I can't observe non-Bux baristas and know if they're making my drink up to standards (whereas I now torture Sbux employees by hovering near the handoff counter to make certain that they add the milk to the espresso shots within the required 10 seconds - so the shots don't burn and taste bitter). Anyway, NavyGuy and I had arrived at the Minneapolis airport after our first leg of the trip from Seattle. It was 5:30am central time, which meant it felt like 3:30 in the morning to me. And I hadn't slept. And I was cranky.

We exit the airplane, and immediately see a 'Bux. Our next flight boards in about thirty minutes, and is conveniently in a different far-away terminal. So what would you do in this instance?

Let's pretend this is a Choose Your Own Adventure Book - I loved those as a kid. So you've come to the bottom of the page, and you have two options:

Option A: Get your mocha from the Starbucks directly in front of you. It could be a stressful rush to your next flight, but you'd be assured of your caffeine.

Option B: Go directly to the next terminal where your flight is, and then search for a 'Bux. This option guarantees you'll be on time for boarding, but there's a slight risk the other terminal may be Sbux-less.

As you can probably guess from the title, NavyGuy encouraged Option B, while I pleaded (to no avail) for Option A.

We chose the wrong option, and like an adventure book, came to the last page in the story very quickly. The entire walk over to our next terminal I whined, moaned, threatened NavyGuy with certain death, and generally played the obnoxious wife, should we arrive at our next gate without nary a Starbucks in sight. And of course, our terminal had none. There was a Caribou Coffee, but by this point, I had gotten worked up enough that nothing - NOTHING - short of my Starbucks mocha was going to satisfy me. And it wouldn't have been such an issue had we NOT PASSED RIGHT BY ONE AND HAD SOMEONE LISTENED TO HIS WIFE WHO'S ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!!

NavyGuy offered to go get me anything in the current terminal, but by now I had joined the Hall of Fame of passive aggressive women and was playing the martyr as if I were up for an Oscar. The "no, I'm fine" game, wherein I'm anything but fine. Finally he gave up and let me sit there stewing in my crankiness.

With about twenty minutes until boarding, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Glaringly, I grabbed my purse, stared down NavyGuy, and said, "I'm going for coffee." He looked bewildered but knew better than to try and reason with me at this point.

I started off, having decided on secret Option C - find a different 'Sbux somewhere and get my mocha! Well, by the time I power-walked through half the Minneapolis airport and found a random 'Bux, I was sweating so profusely I had to settle for an iced mocha, and do a walk-sprint back to the gate so we could board the plane. NavyGuy thought I had run all the way back to the original store, and merely shook his head at my pigheadedness determination as we boarded our flight to Milwaukee.

All's well that end's well, but an important lesson was learned that early morning in Minnesota - do not tangle or cross a sleep-deprived NavyWife... and go to the first Starbucks you come across!


YellowBunnies February 21, 2010 at 1:32 PM  

I thought this story was going to end differently... that you'd buy the coffee at the first terminal, have to exit security, and re-enter at the second terminal, at which point you would have to throw away your full, yummy coffee because it is a liquid. At which point, NavyGuy would be right.

This happened to me once during a layover in the Vegas airport. I had a painful UTI, spent a dumb amount of money on a full bottle of cranberry juice, then went to find my next gate. Sure enough, it was in another section of the airport and I had to re-enter security. I pleaded with the dude that I needed the cranberry juice for personal, feminine reasons and he said I could hang out there for a bit and drink it. I bought another one after I got through. Bah!

historygirlie February 21, 2010 at 4:12 PM  

I love the Passive Agressive Wives Club.....I am currently in the running for President Elect. Perhaps we should team up and run on the same ticket. Our Passive Agressiveness and our knowledge of strong historical campaigns would make us winners for sure.

ON a different note....I was grocery-ing today at FestFoods, and for a little while I SWORE it was you coming towards me near the meat counter. The lady must have thought I was a preggo creeper, since I was staring at her like she was a ghost. She had to get close up for me to realize it wasn't you.

Somewhere in the North Appleton/Darboy/Kimberly area you have a doppleganger. Who shops at FestFoods and buys flavored chicken breasts. :)

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