Guest Post

Miracles do happen ladies... I got NavyGuy to watch Bride Wars with me! It did require a shrill argument about how I watched "his movie" (Taken) earlier in the week, and that he should give this movie a chance, and on and on... but I prevailed in the end and held him down convinced him to watch the movie tonight, AND to write a review of it from a groom's perspective! (Click here for my review.)

Snide Wars
by NavyGuy

Let me start out by saying one thing – THIS IS A CHICK MOVIE!* This is in fact the archetype of the chick-flick. Fittingly, the movie is narrated in a calm adult voice by Candace Bergen, the only person who is an adult in the whole movie, and in fact acts like a chaperone for the two female leads. And lets talk about the two female leads. They spend the whole movie trying to outdo each other in making the audience hate them more than the other. Not only that, but this movie hits every point of female insecurity: weight, clothes, hair, nails, style, and even money. And of course, the moment of inevitable hubris and realization for both brides simultaneously as only celluloid can deliver.

In the recent trend of “bromance” movies, this could almost be called a “sismance.” The entire narrative structure is so tired and worn, that it feels like a marathon runner being dragged across the finish line. In fact, the final twist is so transparent, even someone of only marginal foresight can see it coming from well beyond the horizon. Like the first 5 minutes of the movie.

Ok, now that I’ve finished ripping the movie on a cinematic level, I’ll at least say some nice things, or at least not as mean. The movie was cute, seeing as we just got married, it was funny to see some things from our wedding in this movie. One in particular was when one of the grooms jokes that his particular bride never lets him lead. This is something Mugs and I often joke about, as we have different senses of rhythm and we both always want to lead, which often leads to any time we dance together, we look just a little out of sync. Anyway, in the end, the movie tries to be about friendship, and if you squint real hard, and don’t really think about it too much, it sort of achieves that end.

*Note from NavyGirl: Apparently, he wants to make sure you understand he watched this under duress and should not therefore, forfeit his man card for agreeing to watch a chick flick with his wife.