Surely.

Surely... NavyGuy would not call me half hour after he left with the boys to go out in downtown Oak Harbor, asking me to deliver Marine #1's forgotten wallet - a thirty minute drive from home.

Surely... my wonderful fiance would not call me at 1:30am and wake me up from a deep sleep.

Surely... NavyGuy would not proceed to ask me to put on clothes, go out in the rain, and drive down to Oak Harbor (reminder, thirty minutes away) to pick him up from a night of drinking with the boys.

Surely... my thoughtful man would not call me en route and try to put drunkity-drunk drunk Marine #1 on the phone to give me directions to the house at which half the group has disappeared to.

Surely... NavyGuy would not have me pick him up on a street corner in downtown Oak Harbor like some kind of drifter.

Surely... my love and partner in life would not ask me to then drive to a second location to rescue Marines #1 and 2, plus a new straggler I've dubed "Curry Boy" for forthcoming reasons.

Surely... NavyGuy would not try to kiss me with his whiskey sodden lips!

Surely... NavyGuy and the three blasted amigos in the backseat would not sing, chatter, yell, fart, burp, attempt to engage in conversation, and/or step on my Nalgene bottles in the backseat the entire thirty minute ride home.

Surely... my fabulous fiance would intervene when Marine #3 - Curry Boy - spends half of the ride telling me of his love for curry and his interest in my tomato curry chicken recipe and his thoughts on whether Caribbean curry is better than other varieties.

Surely... NavyGuy would not do any of these things, as he is mature, responsible, kind, and wise enough to know the serious retribution that would result from the above events.

Surely... this is not how I spent my Saturday night (early Sunday morning).

Surely.

Surely.