Thursday, September 18, 2008

Book Review: Bitter is the New Black

Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending , Egomaniacal, Self-Centered, Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
Jen Lancaster
c2006 Penguin Books, 416 pgs.

Haiku Summary... sassy girl lost job, but not her sense of humor, new money plan - write.

Favorite part... the discussions between Jen and Fletch (boyfriend, later husband), because they reminded me of the irrational conversations NavyGuy and I have (okay, irrational on my part, bewildered on his). For example, Jen feels the need to buy a new couch (pre-job-loss) because their current couch is, to quote, "icky."

Reminds me of... Jennifer Weiner, Chelsea Handler, Carrie Bradshaw.

You'll like it if... you accept ahead of time that she's blunt, rude, sarcastic, biting, and judgemental, and just read for the amusement and laughs.

You'll hate it if... you expect all your heroines to turn their lives 180 degrees around and become perfect people by page 350.

Read at/on... the beach, Starbucks, a road trip, the couch in pajamas.

Rated... R for language and content (though Jen is Amish modest).


(When Fletch goes on a business trip and leaves her alone) “I need Fletch around to remind me it’s not appropriate to eat Lucky Charms three times a day simply because I despise cooking.”

(On her visit to the Gynecologist) “Note To Self For Future Reference: Tubby girls with smart mouths will be given paper robes, not cloth, by nurses who lack senses of humor.”

(A letter to Fox News) “For future reference, please keep in mind that discretion is the better part of valor. And that I’m on the wrong side of my thirties with high cholesterol. My small, clogged, black heart can only take so many FOX ALERTS, so let’s make ‘em count, okay?”

(Advertisement she put in the paper) “Unemployed And Bitter: Sarcastic ex-sorority girl seeks high-paying job in idiot-free environment. Must allow employees to wear cute shoes. Interested?”……”Who knew so many foot fetishists read the Tribune?
Recommended by... Farmer's Wife


Anonymous,  September 18, 2008 at 6:56 PM  

Laughing out loud! Great quotes!

Anonymous,  September 18, 2008 at 7:13 PM this girl my long lost twin???? I KNEW I was adopted!!!!


Anonymous,  September 18, 2008 at 7:39 PM  

Another book I DESPERATELY want: Dear Vodka, Are you there? It's me, Chelsea...

AKA...Chelsea Handler.

I heart her big time. This stuff is even funnier coming from her b/c it's her ACTUAL life.


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