Monday, September 8, 2008

Out for a Sunday Drive

Lessons learned from a day in the car by myself:

1) Wendy's Twisted Frosty does not hold a candle to a Dairy Queen blizzard.

2) BBC news needs to work a little harder if they have time during their broadcast to discuss the fact that Britney Spears was opening the VMAs.

3) Dropping NavyGuy's XM satellite radio remote into a mostly empty Frosty container will result in slight annoyance.

4) Scratching the side of NavyGuy's SUV on a large pillar while trying to park in your sister's (tiny, narrow, impenetrable) underground parking spot will result in genuine anger, a lecture about the expense of repairing scratches, and a night of guilt-ridden sleep.

5) The cows in California seem to be not at all "happier" than the cows in Wisconsin. (P.S. Farmer Wife - what exactly constitutes a happy cow?)

6) Car GPS devices are worth their weight in gold (until they won't stop belting "Recalculating" the entire time you're circling the gas station trying to get to an open pump).

7) Berkeley Law: Prius or Hybrid yield to Pedestrians/Bikers/Seque Riders/Dogs; Regular cars yield to Prius or Hybrid; minivan yield to regular car; gas-guzzling, environment-killing SUV yield to everyone.

Eight hours after I left, I arrived at Sister's apartment in Berkeley, having learned, oh so much.

[Oh, and I almost died when two twin mattresses came flying off the back of the pickup truck in front of me, and I narrowly swerved to avoid hitting them... while going 70 mph on the L.A. freeway. And this is why I need to be rich enough to have a chauffeur.]

Now I'm crashing at Sister/Spouse's apartment, hanging out on the Aero bed, watching TV, and babysitting the puppy Lucy. NavyGuy is in San Diego going through survival training, so I'm anxious to hear what kinds of MacGuyver-ish tactics he's learning. If he comes back knowing how to break out of a locked room using just a bobby pin, Q-tip, and ducktape, there'll be no living with him.

3 comments:

historygirlie September 8, 2008 at 5:33 PM  

Fresh Hayledge + Cold Water + clean bedding + udder massage 2x/day = happy cow.

It's not too difficult to please an animal as dumb as a cow. Because our farmers are kinder, gentler, and hotter (hehe) than California Farmers, I would think that our cows are therefore happier than California cows.

But if you get a chance to chat with a California Bessy, let me know what she says....I'll pass it along to our herd.

mugs018 September 8, 2008 at 6:08 PM  

Good to know - just in case I ever need to cheer up a cow :)

(Please tell me that Farmer doesn't have to go around and do all those udder massages by hand. I mean, that just can't be sanitary.)

ebs handler September 9, 2008 at 4:25 AM  

Two mother failings by my count....
Both of my daughters tailgate, hence almost being killed by flying mattresses, and it's DUCT tape! Where did I go wrong?

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