Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Dispatches from Berkeley

I had disappointing news: I was unable to view the tree-sitters up close. Upon further investigation this morning, I discovered that the situation has escalated. You knew this schiznit was going to get ugly eventually, and I decided it would be wise to avoid possible tear gas or projectile feces. Check out this timeline of events from this morning, and I think you'll agree I made the right choice. (The photos included in the article give you a good idea of just how crazy this debacle got.)

And the disappointment continues: I was unable to find Cheese'N'Stuff. Apparently, it's in a vortex (like the 19th floor from Sideways Stories of Wayside School) and could not be located. After further consulation with Google Maps, I will try again tomorrow.

In my quest to find Cheese'N'Stuff, I managed to trek approximately five miles throughout the UC Berkeley campus (no, I didn't actually count, but I think that's a very conservative estimate). It was during that time that I finally reached the conclusion that I am officially no longer a college student. Now, of course, I haven't attended a university in over 4 years, but I still feel quite young at heart. And I always thought I was still in the college-mode (young, hip, iron-stomached, invincible, passionate, slightly noctural)... until I spent 45 minutes wandering amongst current college students.

Signs I am no longer a college student:

1) I cannot walk and text without running into things.
2) My cell phone does not take photos, play music, email, baste a turkey, and make calls.
3) Pizza at 1:00am does not sound appetizing.
4) I still don't understand how to play beer pong.
5) The logic that once justified wearing a sweatshirt with flip flops no longer exists.
6) If you're going to schlep several miles to class, you should not expect flip flops to be comfortable (wear some tennis shoes you idiots - your lower back will thank you!)
7) My t-shirts no longer spew pride in a university or anger at a random business conglomerate.
8) I carry a real live purse, not a messenger bag.
9) I don't know the latest websites you can use to download free music or movies.
10) My iPod earbuds are not permanently implanted in my ear canals.

Yes, one and all, I am officially old. Excuse me while I go take my afternoon nap (after which I'm looking forward to a quiet evening with my crossword puzzle). Judge away!


historygirlie September 9, 2008 at 6:56 PM  

Too bad you couldn't see real live tree huggers. Maybe next time.

But you better hit up that two level Target. If you miss it, we may not be able to be friends anymore.

I'm not joking.


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