A Manly Night (Belch)

Can I describe for you the last hour of my life? I sat with three boys watching Ultimate Fighting Champtionship (UFC for those in the know), eating a brat, and drinking a beer. I did not use a napkin. My pretty house has officially become taken over by farting, drinking, belching, scratching, smelly boys. Besides my highly unusual actions, how do I know this?

Well...
a) the coffee table in the livingroom is covered in XBox 360 controllers and games.
b) the fridge has two entire shelves devoted to beer.
c) it is only considered a meal if it includes meat.
d) fruit platters are not necessary, or desired, side dishes.
e) silverware is optional.
f) the television seems to only receive the following channels: Spike, FX, military channel, and ESPN.
g) apparently, watching a television show in regular broadcast quality when an HD version is available is "lunacy."
h) the only shoes that have been removed and carefully set on the mat by the backdoor are mine.
i) boxes containing kitchen items have stood unpacked in the middle of the kitchen since arriving on Monday; boxes containing DVDs were unpacked within hours.
j) it is not out of the question to consider driving twenty miles at nine o' clock at night to buy the video game Rock Band when the urge strikes.
k) also not out of the question is choosing to grill out when it's 45 degrees.
l) had I a nickel for every inch of cable or cord now running along the pretty white baseboards in this house, I could afford to pay for this house on my own!

Sigh. NavyGuy on his own is actually quite domesticated. He was well-trained and does appreciate a clean countertop and is capable of doing most household chores unsupervised (honestly, often better than I). However, when his good habits are combined with those of an undomesticated beast (aka, a single guy), all bets are off. I'm going to go scrapbook and paint my nails in an effort to gain back some lost estrogen.