Knox, Bronx, and Harlow Serve a Greater Purpose?

Setting: In the car, driving to Target.

Radio announcer: "And it was another huge year for celebrity babies - Ashlee, JLo, Halle, and many more. 2009 looks to be just as big with little ones expected from Jennifer Garner, and maybe more for Brangelina...?"

Mugs: Hmmm... I'm sure in the past celebrities had babies just as frequently, but doesn't it feel like in the last few years, there have just been tons of Hollywood babies? I mean, I'm sure it's more covered in the press, so it just feels that way.

NavyGuy: Oh, I don't know about that. I think there have been more babies.

Mugs: Really?

NavyGuy: Yeah. I think the celebrities are doing it on purpose.

Mugs: Oh, you do. Why?

NavyGuy: It's part of a conspiracy.

Mugs: A conspiracy. Between whom?

NavyGuy: The celebrities and the baby boom generation.

Mugs: Why in God's name would 65 year olds care how much Hollywood is procreating?

NavyGuy: Because, the old farts are worried about getting their Social Security checks. There aren't going to be enough young workers to pay in, so the baby boomers convinced celebrities to have babies. Once the celebrities start popping out kids, it will become all trendy and everyone our age and younger will want to be just like the famous people and have huge families of kids with weird names.

Mugs: You've given this quite a bit of thought.

NavyGuy: I wouldn't be surprised if Obama masterminded the entire thing to keep the Hollywood elites happy, and get the senior vote.

Mugs: Dear Lord.


I'm 97% sure he doesn't really believe it.