Thursday, April 23, 2009

More Letters...

So the good news is that a) I'm back in Wisconsin, b) all of my luggage arrived with me, and c) it was a completely un-eventful day.  No one annoyed me, the TSA people and I got along amazing well - I didn't even have to sit next to any talkers on the plane!

The bad news (for you readers) however, is that that means I have nothing to blog about!  I also don't have much time, because I need to unpack and get ready for a busy day of wedding errands on Friday.  Instead, I offer you two additional letters that were submitted by Sister and HistoryGirlie; they're both in the same vein as my biting pre-flight ones.  (By the by, feel free to leave your own sarcasm-laden letter in the comments - Sister said it was very therapeutic, and judging by my wonderful travel experience today, perhaps they're actually useful at preventing or solving problems...?)

Dear Sophomore Boy:

I apologize for ruining your life with my homework THAT I"M GIVING YOU 5 DAYS TO COMPLETE. I know the weekend is going to be lovely, but again, this is an honors class...I think you can enjoy the sun and appreciate George Kennan (sigh!) all at the same time. 



Dear Slacking Site Coordinator,

I'm sorry for expecting that you would have your paperwork in on time - I agree, it IS too much to ask that you would get an email about it three weeks ago, then two reminder emails and two texts before I show up at your school to retrieve said paperwork....which you didn't have ready and complete.

I also forgive you for forgetting about our meeting.

And despite how much I respect our relationship and your work ethic in general, I will decline your request to use me for a recommendation. 

See you at training tomorrow (late, as usual)!



Yellow Bunnies,  April 24, 2009 at 11:20 AM  

Dear Milwaukee Airport Luggage Transporter,

I apologize for comparing you to the much more efficient Denver Airport Luggage Transporter that consistently has my luggage waiting for me after getting off the plane, taking several moving sidewalks, taking a little train ride, and a quick bathroom break. I don’t know why I would expect a significantly smaller airport, MKE, to manage to get my luggage to me by the time I walk down the nasty carpeted hallways that still wreak of a time when smoking was allowed in airports, to the baggage claim, attempt to find a clean spot to set my backpack, purse, and coat in your nasty bathrooms with only two stalls, both of which have pee on the seats, and neither of which have toilet paper, then attempt to use said bathroom without contaminating my own body and everything I own, then washing my hands, air drying them in a high-humidity environment because there are no paper towels, and finding the correct baggage claim spiny-thingy to retrieve my luggage, which never seems to be decided on until suitcases are already coming out and the number has usually changed on the screen thrice before picking one of five spiny thingies. Sure, Denver may have 40 of these and can tell me which one of them to walk towards before I even get off the plane, but sorry, MKE, for expecting so much out of you. Sorry, MKE luggage transporter for cursing at you when my suitcase is consistently the last one out of your magic doorway and then has some sort of black scum all over the sides, which unavoidably gets all over my cute travel outfit when I go to lift it off the spiny-thingy.

Thank you, MKE Luggage Transporter for making my return to Wisconsin an unclassy experience that always kicks off a trip-long whining session on how Colorado is just plain better.

Frequent DEN to MKE Flyer

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